Hi there reddit world!
Apologies in advanced for any issues you might have with this post as I’m super new to this platform and i am not the most well versed in reddit etiquette! With that being said...if you continue to read this I appreciate you and any opinion/ advice you might have about this subject 😱 (there was another post I found regarding this specific subject but it was 6 years old and I would really love a fresh perspective)
Anyways! I’m a 25 y/o female who is new to LA (<1yr) and have only navigated the dating scene for the past 3-4 months now, I’ve finally met someone (a 28 y/o male) that I’ve really seem to hit it off with, & we’ve been seeing each other a little over a month now :) but....the relationship is now headed to a much more “physical” place and the past few dates I’ve definitely had to stall things from progressing past a hot and heavy make out sesh, simply because I wasn’t ready to have the conversation with him. I’ve become increasingly more comfortable with him w/ every date and I’ve determined with myself that he is someone I want to open up to and have this convo with. & I can also sense his confusion/sexual frustration with me so I feel that I owe it to him to let him know what’s going on in my head & below my belt...
So far I plan on telling him in person before I leave for a weekend trip, that way he has time to process the info, do his research, and there’s no pressure to see me at all. Alright without further adieu...here’s the spiel so far....(bare with me on the exact wording, I’m hoping it’ll sound more conversational than this) lol
“Hey ! So I’m really into you and I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you so far! I feel like I can be myself around you and you’re probably wondering why I’ve avoided or redirected the past few times things have gotten steamy (LOL word?) between us. So here’s a bit of an answer and vulnerable moment for you: I have herpes and sometimes it’s a lil nerve wracking to bring up with someone new! I’m letting you know because I care and you deserve to make an informed decision on whether you want to take on the risk of sleeping with me. I say risk because herpes is never 100% non transmittable...But it’s totally controllable if you’re taking the right precautions, which I am. I’m on suppressive medication and condoms also lower the transmission rate. (Not sure if I should throw out some stats here??) either way I think you should do your own research and if you have any questions I’m pretty much an open book now that the most difficult part is over.”
That’s a pretty bare skeleton of how I think it would go! So please offer me any advice you might have !! I would seriously appreciate mostly because it’s difficult to discuss this with friends and fam because they’re often tooooo supportive in fear of hurting your feelings !! I wanna know what all you strangers really think, the good,the bad, and the ugly ! Xoxooxo
Additional info: I’ve only disclosed to 2 others since my diagnosis (3 years ago) and they were only hookups (who were totally cool w/ it btw) but it was less nerve wracking since actual feelings weren’t on the line! Also the way I caught it in the first place was pretty traumatic for me...My ex bf of 2 years and the man who took my v-card had it before we met and never disclosed or took precautions to keep me safe so it was a pretty painful betrayal...
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