I’ve been thinking about dating for a long time since my breakup last year, and one thing that always stood out was how quickly she found another guy who was way better than me. More successful, more mature, younger, fitter, confident... he was just better for her. I ended up crying myself to sleep every night for 2 months thinking about how shitty I am and how most women could look at a guy like me and say “pass.”
In her eyes, I’m not hot, I’m a 7 or 6/10 at best. I’m fit but still have love handles. I’m a graduate but only barely. I have a job but it pays little. I have a car but it’s not cool. I still live at home and can’t afford to move out nor can I find a better job. I try to look at myself with compassion but it’s hard when I am objectively less dateable than a lot of men my age (24).
Honestly, dating seems like a waste of time for both me and the women I’d be interested in because they’d soon find my life boring and trite, just like she did. Im not content with just sitting around moping so I do work on myself a lot and go to therapy, but I still feel miserable sometimes knowing how lacking and how imperfect I am. I’m not some shining knight, or a hero, or a success story. I’m barely worth it as I am, and I know I can be so much more but I feel like I can’t even live up to my own standards, let alone those of the good women I know and would like to date. Fuck it, guess it’s back to getting angry at myself for not changing or being better and punching myself in the face till I bruise.
Tl;dr: I feel less dateable than other men and I can’t seem to find a way to change my mind about this. Therapy for this isn’t working and I’m upset that I haven’t become better.
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