Hi!
This is my first post to reddit, please bear with me 😊
So I’ve been casually seeing this guy for almost two months now ( we haven’t seen each other in the past 3 weeks). He’s 27 and I’m 29. Initially it was once a week, our “relationship” is mostly sexual but we do hang out and have done stuff outside the house when we’re together. We get along just great.
I was for the most part happy with things besides something that started becoming apparent - 4 weeks in, I noticed he didn’t have any real interest in going down on me! It happened once! And it’s something that through casual conversation he mentioned he enjoyed doing. I got in my head as I felt there was something wrong with me ( not that anyone has even slightly alluded to anything before - quite the contrary!). It’s made me hold back and not reciprocate as well. I usually sleep over but the last time I saw him, I got up get dressed after we had sex and said I wanted to go home. He looked really taken aback and asked if I was ok but I didn’t feel like I could be there anymore without getting upset. He texted me once I got in the car to ask if everything was ok. I simply said I’m not trying to make a big deal out of it but that it’s been bothering me for a while and makes me feel like I’m not worth the effort, and making me hold back and I don’t know what to think, His response was that - he does enjoy it and wanted to do more of it with me, he’s just been enjoying having sex with me that much he sort of skipped that part, but that I’m definitely worth it.
It was almost 2am and didn’t mean to do a grand exit and bring it up this way, so I just left it and didn’t want to drag it on. Two days later I checked in with him, as way of saying we’re all good and I’ve accepted his reason. He didn’t give me any indication that he wasn’t ok with things, except that was the first week he didn’t ask to see me. We both initiated in the past. I didn’t ask either because I wasn’t sure where we stood. A few days later I mentioned that I’d still like to hang out in case he thought I wasn’t interested anymore. It also generated “the talk” as I wanted to know if there where other people involved and where he stood . He said he’s not after a full blown relationship, but has been on a couple of other dates that haven’t really lead to anywhere. Made it clear that he wanted to keep things casual and was happy the way things were with us etc. It did sting a bit but not being ready for a relationship either, I said I was fine with the situation - I just wanted us to be honest about other people and that I want to see him( have sex) more often. He said he was definitely down for that.
Since then, it’s been two weekends in a row now where he texted me as usual to ask about my week and my weekend plans. We both had things on but I made it clear that I was very keen to catch up. And he said the same. Both times he initiated by asking what I was up to - was late Friday night on both times. I responded and asked if he wanted to link up, but then nothing - no reply! Last night was the second time!
I am so very frustrated by the situation, I don’t want anything serious from him besides genuinely enjoying his company and wanting to hook up more. But this flakey behaviour is getting to me and makes me feel rejected. Maybe he thought that me walking out that one time and then bringing up the talk, was drama and he’s withdrawn. I personally don’t see anything wrong with getting clarity. But why would he keep texting me asking about my plans and saying he was keen to catch up - but then take forever to reply and then disappear! It’s impossible to make plans with him anymore because he takes forever to reply and doesn’t seem to make anything happen despite what he claims. I am so confused and a little bit hurt! Do I say something when I’ve already reached out in the past, do I ignore him, should I just be honest next time he texts me and say how I feel ? Help
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