I used to fantasize about kissing every now and then before I had my first, but nothing to an unhealthy amount. I thought it'd be nice. Then it happened, and it was pretty anti-climactic.
I thought it was just the fact that I was nervous and couldnt enjoy it then. Then I had my second, third, and twentieth. Various girls, a lot of whom I was wildly attracted to. But kissing is still just... meh. I go through the motions, but it doesn't do anything for me.
I'm deathly afraid of expressing my disinterest though, because every girl seems to love making out, and I fear that'll lead them to think I'm only interested in sex. Which isn't all that false. When it comes to physical intimacy, I like to get straight down to the real stuff. Holding hands, kissing... all that feels like just body parts touching each other.
Am I alone in this?
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