I'll preface by saying I'm 30 years old. I didn't get into my first relationship until I was 28 nor did I lose my virginity till then. I do live with my mother but it's more of a roommate feeling as I work full time, provide for myself (food, phone, car/health/life insurance, etc.) and contribute to the household by helping with bills (we own the house, so no rent or mortgage just property taxes), and when I am told this is an issue it legitimately pisses me off because my mother is borderline disabled and had to spend a year out of work on worker's comp because she injured her wrists a few years ago and still can't use them fully the way she used to, so she actually depends on me for a lot of help. I also don't see the point in moving out when I'm eventually going to inherit the house, even though I dread the day that comes.
All that's kinda moot though since I get ghosted by girls irregardless of if I tell them I live under the same roof as the woman who gave birth to me or not. Before I would definitely say it was a lack of confidence, but working a job the past year I never thought I'd be good at as well as being able to save up more money and generally take better care of myself has really helped. I also lost about 25-30 lbs. in the first 3 months working at my job which also made me feel really good.
Thing is it seems like no matter how far I come or how much self-esteem I acquire it's always a day late and a dollar short. Nobody else seems to recognize it and I keep getting treated the same as I always do by girls. I'm not overly flirty or sexual. I've never ever sent anyone a dick pic except my ex, and that wasn't till after we had already started dating and had sex, so it wasn't like she hadn't seen it before, and it still felt strange lol
I just try to talk about what we have or might have in common, things about their life, the usual stuff you'd ask a new person, and eventually they just stop responding and it makes me think things like "am I just boring?" I mainly just work and play video games and sometimes go out on weekends to see friends and go to shows or whatever, but it's really disheartening when even if I start talking to a gamer girl thinking I've got lots to talk about and even they disappear off the face of the Earth on me.
Just feels like I'm living in a world where everyone else expects me to make 110% of the effort and if I don't absolutely blow their mind on the first try I'm not even worth the effort in return, and this irritates me because I feel like I'm a lot more worthwhile than others give me credit for if they'd just take the time to get to know me.
Hell, my boss throws a lake party every year complete with a pontoon boat and I couldn't even get anyone to go with me to that. I had one girl tell me she "doesn't do lakes" despite many photos of her she posted was her at a lake fishing or chilling, etc.
I rarely ever receive compliments from the other gender despite the fact I think I'm pretty decent looking, especially after losing the weight and cutting my hair/growing a beard. I know looks aren't everything but I don't think that's my problem. I have a good social network of friends and it boggles my mind how not one girl seems to find me appealing beyond friendship. I just don't know what gives. All I ever get is excuses or silence.
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