Just a note, many things in this may not make sense to you while reading this (eg why have I never just called the police/ moved out earlier). I know it doesn’t make sense, but being abused at this level for this amount of time really messes with people’s brains. Also the physical abuse is a lot less now, I keep a chair under my door handle and a knife on my bedside table/ in my pocket in case I need to use it.
For a little context, I met a guy a little over a month ago and we’ve been going on dates every 5 days or so since then. He’s consistently made it very clear that he likes me a lot. He comes from an upper-class, well off family of doctors and successful people, he’s not snooty or anything but he’s admitted to not going through much trauma (his family and extended family are very good people and have treated him well). This ofc is great for me if I can marry into a family of good and kind people, but I don’t know when to tell him, or how to tell him.
My family (mother, father, brother) are all, and have always been very nasty and violent towards me, so much so that I can’t even leave my room without mockery, harassment, and threats of violence (I still do leave my room though to shower and get food, but I can’t stay outside my room for long). They are all (undiagnosed) very mentally ill and twisted, they have convinced themselves since my birth that I was somehow the ‘bad guy’ (no I am not over exaggerating my mum once complained (in all seriousness) that I have always picked fights, ever since I was a baby!!!!! BABY!!!!).
I’ve pretty much endured every kind of abuse possible from these people, some of it is even funny how messed up and random it is (like my mother forcefully holding me down and letting my brother pee on me when I was like 9 because I called him a ‘weiner’). Most of the abuse I’ve endured from them is so extreme and crazy that no one would actually believe it, as you reading this now are probably questioning the severity of it. From 15 and under, my family (obviously) had abused and gaslit me so much that they made me believe that if I called the police, I’d go to jail too because I threatened to break their things, or hit back, or it was my fault my dad beat me bloody because I called my mum a b*tch. They have also slandered and lied about me to my extended family since forever (yes my aunts and stuff have picked up on it and have guessed my family is abusive). Because of this constant poo-talking, I’ve had no relationship with any outside members of my family, which means I have had no one to go to.
Obviously, I need to get out of this situation, I’m in my final year of university, once I graduate next year I’ll move out, get a job, and cut them out completely, maybe legally if I can.
But my question is this; How do I tell someone who clearly cares for me so much that my family is this bad, and that I’m consistently in danger but won’t leave because one more year of abusive is nothing to a lifetime of it?
How do I tell him that I never want him to meet them?
How do I tell him everything? Or should I not?
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