It’s your mentality about it that is wrong.
I was in a relationship for 5 years, at the start of which online dating wasn’t a thing. There was no tinder, hinge or bumble. When the relationship ended I started using dating apps. Whenever I would get a match I’d get so excited because hey this person likes me! Great let’s talk. But if they didn’t respond to my message I’d be confused. Clearly they like me seeing as they matched with me, wtf right? Or I’d have a great conversation with someone for a night and the next day nothing. It was an emotional rollercoaster.
I recently (2 months ago) got out of an 8 month relationship with someone I met on a dating app and honestly I dreaded downloading them again. It’s the worst I told myself. I read somewhere - maybe even this sub - to treat apps like a bar. You walk in and some people may smile at you but never strike up a conversation. That’s the same as getting a match. Talk to someone for one night and it never goes anywhere? Same as having a conversation with a stranger in a bar but never speaking again. You exchange numbers with a person on the app but the conversation eventually fizzles out and never leads to a date? That’s the same as giving your number to someone and it just never amounting to anything. Which is okay! You don’t actually go one dates with everyone you connect with in real life. Which is such a smaller pool than what is available on the apps. So of course rejection is bound to happen.
Think of apps like a bar and you’ll have a far better time. I’m actually enjoying myself on them this time around. A match is no reason to get your hopes up, same with a deep conversation for one night. These things happen all the time in the ‘real world’ and often don’t lead to anything. We are just so bombarded with options on apps that it feels like rapid fire with all of the emotions.
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