Hey all, getting sick of watching YouTube videos on this as my situation isn’t as straight forward as a lot of those videos make it out to be. Thought I’d see what the fine people of Reddit think.
Basically the situation is I’ve started having strong feelings for my friend that I’ve known for nearly 14 years and I feel like I really need to tell her.
We met in 2007 where we both worked at the time. I’m a pretty introverted awkward guy for the most part, I’m plenty talkative in my small groups of friends but I feel like I’m not really your usual guy, I don’t like sports / go to the gym and I don’t drink so I don’t think they helps me with most women generally speaking. Going out to bars and pubs isn’t really my thing. I’m really comfortable and confident in my own skin and enjoy my own company so that’s never an issue for me.
Anyway… I met this girl in our old place of work, I wouldn’t say I’m naturally the most funny guy but it’s always been so easy to make her laugh since day one. There was always some chemistry between us even back then.
Eventually we both left that job but we reconnected in 2015 when she added me on my new Facebook account (I’d previously deleted my old account so we didn’t talk for a few brief years). As soon as she added me at the time we didn’t stop talking and it quickly got to the point of flirting and it was obvious we liked each other a lot. Things were heating up a lot at the time and I felt like it was all going amazingly. I’d met her once or twice late after finishing my job at the time. She was living with her crazy ex’s sister at the time so it was genuinely really awkward for her to see me. Things randomly died off which really surprised and disappointed me at the time and it took a few years but she told me when I asked what happened that it was just bad timing. Now usually I’d think that was an easy way to let me down softly in saying that she’d lost interest but I fully believe her on this occasion knowing her situation at the time.
We’ve been really close friends ever since. We talk all the time other than a few weeks or the odd month maybe where things were quiet for various reasons.
There was a time about 3 years ago where I’d come out of a bad brief intense relationship and she was there for me. We rarely leave x’s on messages but around this time she was leaving some during our conversations. They lasted for a while until they randomly ended possibly due to me not reading it right at the time 🤦🏻♂️
It’s been 3 years since then. I don’t get to see her often because she walks and looks after people’s animals for her job. Usually we get to see eachother when we go see the new marvel movies together but that’s it.
After seeing a movie recently we have been talking nonstop for weeks. Im finding it. Really hard to read the situation and deciding if she still has interest in me or any feelings at all or if she’s just being nice. We both start conversations if the other is quiet, I’ve asked her to go see another movie recently and she just didn’t answer. I feel like it’s possible due to her having anxieties that MAYBE she’s scared of ruining the friendship but that could just be me being optimistic.
Really I want to just see her in person and outright ask her and tell her how I feel but I’m also scared of freaking her out if she doesn’t have feelings for me.
It’s really hard to get an opportunity to see her but I’d rather tell her how I feel in person.
I really feel like we share a lot in common and are similar people and really do think we’d match like peanut butter and jelly. I care deeply for her but don’t know what I should really do in general about the situation.
Sorry for how long this is.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. With all the mixed signals I’m finding it very difficult to decide on what is best to do. I really wouldn’t want to lose her as a friend if she definitely doesn’t have feelings for me.
Thanks!
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