Given my OCD and social ineptitude, I am (30M) having trouble finding a woman in my country who is serious, does not lose interest in me and wants to actually meet up in person - ATX News Paper

ATX News Paper

Today News Paper - Article, Newspaper jobs, Magazine, News Republic, News Corporation company, News bbc, News live, Today's news usa, india, uk more country's breaking news

Breaking

Home Top Ad

Post Top Ad

Friday, July 23, 2021

Given my OCD and social ineptitude, I am (30M) having trouble finding a woman in my country who is serious, does not lose interest in me and wants to actually meet up in person

I am a 30 year old guy from Bangladesh. People here use the major dating sites that is common internationally. It seems to me that Tinder is the most common, possibly facebook as well.

Now this is based on my limited experience but from what I have seen is the following observations:

  1. EVERYONE single is online on these sites.

  2. It is VERY difficult to get matched with a women. For eg. on Tinder, even if you swipe right on most women every week, you get only 3 or so matches in a week. Then half these women will not reply to your opening message. For the rest half who does reply, will only reply in one or two words (showing lack of interest) and then not reply.

  3. Women seem to be there only to toy and flirt with a bunch of men at the same time. They flirt on text or on call (and lead them on and toy with them) but no one seems to have any intentions of being serious. No one wants to actually go on a date and think long-term marriage or otherwise. Women there even allude to it in their profiles with sentences such as: just looking around, looking to make "friends", impress me with your conversations, No hookups".

Now, the above obviously is quite a generalization but this was what was my experience. I do not mean to judge the women or anyone there. Its simply that I am not finding what I am looking for.

I am a 30 year old man, with a closing time window (maximum 35) for getting married. I am looking for something serious and I don't have time for passing the time talking to strangers who wouldn't even meet me upfront.

I don't want to go through the arranged marriage route because, there your bio-data (resumes!) are exchanged and filtered by your family first and then you only talk to the person for a few dates after picking from a bunch of resumes that your family has filtered for you. There is no scope for getting to know a person, learning your compatibility and its just unromantic (how does someone even marry a stranger with no attachments!). Not only that I have OCD and 5 feet 4, those two are dealbreakers in arranged marriage.

I would therefore rather have a love marriage, unless its absolutely not possible and I have failed. It would make the chances of someone accepting my OCD and drawbacks more likely and increase the odds of compatibility and a good long term marriage.

I also realize, that simple being "me", is not enough. There are men out there with highly developed "pickup skills", who are so good at wooing all these women on Tinder, when I can't even get past the third text message.

So I am looking for the following:

  • Advice on how to polish myself and be more attractive/seductive (whatever the word is). Please don't suggest a PickUpArtist book. Rather something that is scientific and that aims at a long term outcome like marriage.

  • Suggestions on where to meet women who are willing to be serious.

  • Suggestions on how to spot women who are there to toy with you right at the beginning so that time and emotional energy is not wasted.

submitted by /u/Experimentalphone
[link] [comments]

from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/3hWgB78
via IFTTT

No comments:

Post a Comment

Post Bottom Ad

Pages