Tldr: Girl who originally said she wanted to be FWB fell in love with me and never told me, so when we got separated by the pandemic and grew apart, she was brokenhearted and I feel bad about it.
Two years ago I (20m) asked a girl (20f) out on a date, and during that date she was very clear about not wanting a serious relationship. We were both in college and from different states, and she said she didn't want a serious relationship because it meant being far away from each other for long periods of time. I appreciated how direct she was about it, and since I had never had a relationship that wasn't serious before, I thought I'd give it a shot.
It went great for a few months, and then the pandemic happened, so we moved back to our respective states. For the first few weeks we kept in touch, and talked on Zoom, but as time went on we stopped talking. I thought it was normal since we couldn't really keep our friends with benefits status living far away from each other.
A few months later she called me, crying, saying she missed me and wished things had been different. I told her I missed her as well, and not to worry about it since the pandemic wasn't her fault. I said I understood that that's the nature of this kind of relationship, and that if we ever went back we could be together again. She told me she was talking about the whole casual relationship thing. She said she only said that she wanted to be friends with benefits because she was scared of falling in love with someone, and thought she would become less attached if it was a casual thing, but ended up falling in love with me and now she was brokenhearted because we stopped talking.
I told her I was sorry that it happened that way, and that we probably could have had a serious relationship if she wanted one when we met, but due to the distance it couldn't work out now. She agreed and we said our goodbyes.
I feel bad about it now, thinking that she got hurt because of me, but also don't really think I should since she always told me those were her intentions. Anyways, if you are ever in a similar situation, don't think twice about saying how you really feel!
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