fwb to lovers?

I am 21(F) in a now exclusive FWB with 23(F). It’s recently come to my attention that according to her, she does things with me she’d usually only do when in a romantic relationship. I noticed this shift when she’d express wanting me to focus only on her. During this shift, we began to engage in typically couple-like behaviour such as constant PDA, pet names, gift-giving, explicitly “embodying?” my ideal partner, and cohabitating to some degree, and much more. I didn’t read into it because I already asked about any potential into becoming girlfriends when we first started talking. She let me know then and there that she wasn’t looking for a relationship until she settled down.

Usually, our communication is strong. I’d otherwise talk to her directly about this, but I suggested we take a break to focus on ourselves. She’s recently become a bit emotionally unavailable due to personal matters. I’m not entirely sure if the unavailability will last because we alluded to growing older together the last time we talked. Either way, I now feel lost. Because of my preoccupied fear of abandonment, I’m finding it hard to cope with the likelihood that we’ll have to part ways, especially because I’ve recently realised that I’m demiromantic. I fear that if we continue, I’ll develop feelings for her, and I doubt she reciprocates. After all, I’m aware that I’m now beginning to read into things as signs that she’s changing her mind and wants to be with me. For instance, she stayed when she was otherwise planning to move away, and she’s become jealous if I were to be romantically committed to someone else. It’s no good. Honestly, I think my feelings have developed already, and I don’t want to lose her.

I’ve written to her that I feel like we either continue officially as a couple or part ways. I’m awaiting her response. She’s used to starting as friends and becoming a couple, and I’m not. It bothers me that she assumed we were exclusive without discussing this with me. That just feels necessary to add for some reason.

Any advice on dealing with a complicated, slow, potential break-up? I don’t want to assume we’ll continue as a couple to fuel any wishful thinking. I have a lot of abandonment trauma, so this experience is overwhelmingly distressing.

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