What to Do When You’re the Only One Initiating - ATX News Paper

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Friday, December 17, 2021

What to Do When You’re the Only One Initiating

I (25M) have been seeing this girl (27F) for a few weeks now. We’ve been on 5 dates, have the 6th tomorrow. It seems like she really enjoys herself on these dates, she smiles a lot and is super engaging and chatty and always says afterwords how she had a great time. Also she always readily agrees to these dates, hasn’t turned me down yet. Always pays for her own drinks and such. I’ve given her book and album recommendations that’s she’s immediately checked out and got back to me on, so it really seems like she’s interested.

However, thus far I’ve been the only one initiating. Every time it’s been me asking when she’s available and suggesting date ideas. And even outside of setting up dates it seems she only texts me in response to a text I’ve sent, and never starts the conversation. This is kind of bothersome to me, it’s hard to know how I’m doing when she only really texts me in response. Sort of makes me feel like I’m being pushy, or too much.

So what id like to know is, is it too early to bring this up? I was thinking of saying “can I ask you a candid question… am I not giving you enough space… it just seems like I’m the one always asking you out or texting you, it’s sort of hard knowing where I stand with you when that’s the case etc.” I don’t want to seem clingy/passive aggressive tho

Outside of this issue I really like her and always have a great time on our dates, so I’d probably ask her if she wanted to be in a relationship in a few more weeks, but I don’t want to commit to a relationship if it’s always going to be me initiating. It’s sort of a knock to the confidence to be in that role. Part of me thinks she’s just a little shy and doesn’t have a lot of dating experience (neither do I really). Or maybe she doesn’t like texting, I don’t know

submitted by /u/Whatsthedealw_squids
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