Me and this girl have only known each other for a few weeks. Not very long, I know. We made it clear that we wanted to be just friends. We haven't spent much time apart in our off hours since we met. We are both adults with careers. We often spend as much as 8 hrs a day together, mostly talking about our shared interests, which we have a lot of. Some playful flirty banter, She asked me some more intimate questions too, like what I look for in a woman, what body type I like, am I a butt or boob man etc.
When we weren't talking we were texting throughout the day. We spend a lot of time together. She told me about her past relationships and how she has a strong wall up now due to this last guy she was with who gaslighted her and got her to send naughty photos of her to him. She is humiliated by this and has her guard up due to him. She doesnt want a relationship at this time. Which is why we are just friends. She made it clear that's all we would be and I was fine with that. Until....
Just recently, over the last 3 days, she started with more sexual conversations via text, cause she is so shy. I didnt mind, and I went with it as I was starting to grow more fond of her anyways with all the time we spend together.
We got pretty steamy in our texting which went on for a while. Since we were far away from eachother during the holidays, we had planned on a date night to watch a show later while in a chat so we could watch together. I joined the chat n she was super shy when I brought up the naughty text messaging. I told her it was super hot what she described she would do to me and the outfit she would wear.
She then sent me a couple pics of her in said outfit, I didnt ask and I told her she didnt have to. She was going to send me a pic of her in bra and undies, I didnt ask and told her she didnt have to. , Then she changed her mind. I said that's all right. Then she says, we're just friends, we shouldn't be doing this and having sexual conversations with eachother. She initiated alot of the sexual conversations.
She asked me to delete our entire conversation and the pics, which I did. I then said why do you have trouble showing me you like me that way when you clearly do, I also said it's kind of obvious that you do like me more than a friend, which I see as a mistake now. She told me I dont know what shes feeling and she just wants to be friends, if I cant handle that then we shouldn't talk anymore.
My feelings for this girl were plutonic in the beginning and the more we talked, the stronger I felt for her and I thought she was getting stronger feelings too. This based on our conversation and interest she showed in being with me. Before the sexual ones even. She reached out to me most days, I reached out to her others. I thought of giving her a break from me a couple times but then she would ask to hang out. We spend so much time together. Now, after the sexual stuff and moving my mindset more into the relationship direction, she wants to reverse back to, just friends. Which I find hard. I think I really like this girl as we get along so well and have a lot in common.
l just dont know how to proceed. We are both loners, introvert ppl who have had bad experiences with past relationships. We met so randomly and it was a mutual connection from the beginning. She even said it felt like fate or destiny that we were supposed to meet. I know relationships can evolve from friendship, and that wasnt my intent in the beginning. Now I kind of want it to. Should I just be ok with the just friends thing. How should I go about talking to her about this?
I really value her and the time we spend together. This is the first day we have never talked and the last conversation ended badly. We never even watched the show because she didnt want to talk with me anymore. I'm terrible with this kind of stuff. Any advice is appreciated.
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