Hey guys just looking for a little advice for my current situation since I do feel so so lost. (Sorry for the format, foreigner here!)
So me and my boyfriend have been together for a few years. These past months have been really hard on us since he just can't seem to stop hurting me (talking to his ex) and it went on for the entire relationship behind my back... After I found out, our relationship changed completely, he changed, He was more open with his phone, showed me that he blocked her everywhere and he really got better, He was actually a perfect boyfriend. But I changed too you see, I was hurt all the time literally so unhappy all the freaking time and I started to hate myself for not getting over it, it just really broke me you know? I gave him my all and I got a wet towel in the face. But we tried and I didn't want to lose him. Until a week ago we broke up. I begged for him back ( I know moment of weakness) and he said no. I mean alright I guess the only thing for me to do is block him everywhere and start my no contact journey right? That's what I did. But he begged me to unblock him which I did after a bit of convincing but he never spoke to me and I of course kept messaging him and got such small responds and after a couple of days of that happening I started to just admit defeat and left him alone, didn't message him and just literally left him be. He then told me he wanted us to try again (Mind you I booked an appointment with a therapist) only if I felt better after my appointment, after rarely talking to me. Telling me the breakup was for me to feel better knowing god damn well that not talking to me making me feel so alone would hurt me so so much. And I basically told him that he doesn't get to decide the terms for us getting back together and what makes him think I even want that now after ignoring me for so long literally pushing me away, and he decides when we're getting back together? If you asked him what was the worst thing I ever did to him he couldn't tell you one single thing. I did everything for this boy. I gave him the biggest part of my heart, I gave him my trust, I gave him so so many chances. And here I am bawling my eyes out trying to get over this heartache and he really doesn't seem hurt at all. How do you just hurt someone and walk away unscathed? Why do people get to hurt you and they get off scot free? Anywho, sorry for the rambling I just don't know what to do at this point. Do I give it ago again or do I walk away? He's not a bad person at all. He is really the best person I know. I just feel so broken hearted and him begging me to unblock him and then just ignoring me just felt really really unfair..
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