I finished the third date with a new guy I met online (though he goes the next door college.) We have a great chemistry, we're talking and laughing a lot, with a similar sense of sarcastic humor. Today was another good time, we went for dinner, then back to his place. We had sex but then he suggested I join him in the shower afterwards, I was hesitant since I'd never done something like that, he scrubbed me while explaining he didn't like to treat me just like bodies he could use and wanted to show respect. That wasn't the only intimacy, after that he opened up to me about his past and had vulnerable moment.
The thing is, it's not as if it's all an act, he's been genuine. He's foreign so perhaps it's his culture, but he's been extremely open with me. He unlocked his phone to show he isn't talking to anyone else, and when I asked how many dates he considered before we're official, he explained he doesn't like playing waiting games. He's made his intentions clear and known.
But I can't help but be nervous. I had recently ended things with a man I'd been "friends with benefits" (but really just a relationship without a label) around a year, who was prone to stonewalling, barely could communicate, never could commit, and often tried to play jealousy games to make me insecure. Is this feeling normal? I don't want to sabotage things because of my own fear, but I can't help but wonder what the "catch" is. I wonder if he's out of my league, even if he's clearly into me, I still doubt myself.
And due to having a past of abuse, I have avoidant traits so it's hard to overrun my instinct to self-sabotage things and cut them off before I'm too invested. I even made the mistake of expressing a bit of this doubt, though he did reassure me, I know it's a "turn-off" / makes me look insecure. Just goes to show how easy it was to open up to him.
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