Hi, am a male and i’ve been lurking this subreddit for a while now. I’ve read about different types of dating experiences and I feel like am reading a fantasy because it’s so foreign to me. I just wonder why some men like me find it impossible to get a date no matter what? Am turning 24 in a week and I’ve been alone all my life that am so frustrated and saddened by it. Am not trying to get sympathy for my loneliness, I just want to understand why some men can have dates and relationships with the opposite gender, and some men can never experience this aspect of life. It feels like a curse because it never changes. Out of all things I’ve learned about till now, like French, calculus, economics and genetics, this is the only thing I can’t seem to wrap my mind around because there doesn’t seem to be a definitive way these men find a partner. some men find partners through social circles, some by actively searching, some randomly, some weren’t even aware when they found a partner and it makes me wonder, what do all these men have in common that the group that never finds a partner don’t? I estimate u will say confidence, but I object because I’ve seen guys with 0 self esteem and inability to make a move get girlfriends. Sometimes I think maybe guys in the same category as me are been unconsciously cut out of the human genome because of an undesired codon in our genetic sequence that has a distinct physical trait that when manifested, it cannot be sensed by men, but evolution might have given women the advantage to see or perceive it. I might be wrong, but this is my hypothesis for now until there is evidence to prove me wrong so I can further modify my hypothesis based on new data. On the other hand, I’ve been struggling with being alone and as much as I want to embrace it, I feel like I’ve been alone all my life that there’s just nothing positive about it at this point. I still haven’t kissed a girl, I have no friends and the older I get, the more it weighs on my mind and conscience. Am afraid of being alone forever and I estimate u will say “you won’t”, but my reality for the past 24 years is evidence and I’ve never experienced an alternative. I’ve been trying to feel happier being alone, but when I do certain things by myself like playing chess, playing video games or speaking to my reflection in the mirror, I feel unhappy. How can I find happiness in a world where I have no friends or a partner? Thank you for taking your time to read this.
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