I (27F) rearly fall in love, but when I do oh boy... it is so strong and it lasts literally for years. The problem is, if its one-sided crush (like the one I’m experiencing now) I just can’t seem to get interested in any other guy. No matter how cute/nice/compatible or whatsoever. I do try to date but kissing with them gives me 0 sparks and I just feel bad and hopeless afterwards.
I’m now obsessing over a coworker and we have been really good friends and obviously see each other on daily basis, which makes it harder. I have butterflies in my stomach like I’m 16 again for literally a year everytime I see him. He’s not perfect in any way - he’s annoyingly introverted, has a bad taste in fashion, we don’t even have much shared interesests... But something about him makes me drawn to him. Maybe it’s the fact that he can inexplicably sense every shade of my emotions - he would ask why I’m upset when not even my mother or bff realize that I’m upset since I’m super dressed up and faking a smile; or he would just leave me alone if I want to be alone and not even show that he realizes that something’s bothering me (like he would act like he’s super busy at work) and then ask me a few days later what happened on that day. Or just randomly gives me advice I didn’t even know I need. Or that flirty-evil inside jokes we have. Or it is something superficial like beatiful arms and butt and how smart he is.
I know that he really likes spending time with me, but I’m probably in the friendzone since he never tried anything and I’m pretty sure he realizes that I like him. Obviously he sees me as a very good friend but has no romantic interests which sucks but I can’t really blame him. We can’t choose who we are attracted to. I had high hopes at first but realized that he’s just not into me and that I should move on. I’m even aware that even if we got togehter I would get hurt because of his overIy introverted nature. I distanced my self from him as much as possible since we work together and started dating after some time.
I would really like to move on and stop this self-sabotage but I don’t know how. I’m pretty attractive and a lot of guys approach me, but everytime I don’t catch feelings for a guy even tough everything is going great I just feel awful. It’s like chemistry never develops no matter how compatible or pretty the guy is. I didn’t have sex for a year and I do have a high libido, but I literally don’t feel any physical attraction towards anyone else. I feel like I’m wasting my best years and I’m lusting for emotional and physical connection.
I feel like werewolves from Twilight series I read as a teenager who imprint on just one person and that’s it for their whole lifetime.
TL:DR. I’m stuck being in love with a person I don’t want to be in love with since it’s one sided, but I can’t seem to get interested to any other guy and I’m getting desperate.
Any advice?
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