So, I (19M) grew up in a household where both of my parents were constantly fighting, and I’ve heard/saw things when I was really little that I still remember to this day. Stuff like my parents hitting/throwing things at each other and saying stuff like I hope you die and I wish you go to hell. In retrospect, I remember more of those instances than the seldom times us 3 as a family were happy together. I’ve never seen intimacy and healthy relationships irl aside from movies and couples in public.
So fast forward to now, I find myself struggling to form romantic relationships with women my age. I have no problem with platonic relationships and have had many friends of both genders.
However when it comes to something a bit more intimate, it’s like my body shuts down and I just get super scared. I find myself now avoiding any sort of romantic interest even if I’m interested in the girl and it honestly has affected my self confidence..
Is this cuz of my surroundings growing up? Or should i not blame my parents and just man up
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