I (25M) and my (23F) girlfriend have recently been getting into a few arguments about life, our future and who's going to be doing what. I'm looking to see what to do or if anyone has some advice. I haven't dated much and I am pretty naive to a lot of things so I can't tell really if someone is messing me around, basically I can't tell if I'm in a bad relationship or not or if all relationships will be like this.
For a bit of backstory, I currently work a full-time job in the trades and I am gone 5-6 days of the week approximately 7am - 5pm, my GF works a job as well but it's only part time so she's home a lot more then me. She's saying that she sees no future with me, no kids with me and it's all because I come home too late from work. Being in the construction trades means that when it's a nice day out we will probably work longer to get more work done when we know there's a rain day coming, or if we need to get out of a customer's house because of deadlines we have to work longer to get the job done because we have a schedule to maintain.
With that being said somedays I get home at 4:30pm and then other days I get home at 6pm, some friends have told us to no longer make plans because when we make plans and I happen to stay later at work it ruins the whole night and she gets extremely angry if plans get ruined. But even when we don't have plans she still gets upset that I came home 30 minutes later then I usually do. It's hard to have a construction job that is strictly 8-4. We've been fighting alot about this situation.
She expects me and is demanding that I change careers so that I am home more often or I have to quit the company I work for because I need to have a strict 8-4 or 9-5 job to be allowed to have kids with her. She says that if we were to have kids they would only be her kids because they would only see me on the weekends and at night and that the kids wouldn't even know who I was, that hurt me because I would do anything for my kids if I had them.
She has very extreme anxiety and depression and isn't taking any medication or steps towards getting better which I have expressed is a problem that needs to be addressed because fighting everyday about things isn't healthy for either of our mental states.
I don't know if what she's saying to do is reasonable or if I'm being controlled. I can't think of anything else ATM cause my mind's just frazzled
TL:DR girlfriend needs me to change careers to be allowed to have kids or a future with her. Is this right? What do I say to her?
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