Hello.
I spoke on the phone Saturday night for the first time with a girl I matched with on OKCupid a week ago. I usually don't do phone calls before texting, but she said she is the kind of person that prefers to talk over text when moving things off the site. So I went along with it. Her first instinct was one of weariness when I told her that it's not something am used to, because she considered that possibly it was indicative of an incompatibility issue. But nonetheless, when I agreed to a phone call, she was excited.
We chatted for over 3 hours that evening and there was a good connection between us. Towards the end of the chat, she mentioned that she wanted to meet up for a date. But it was really awkward because, well, I am someone who moves much slower (usually the order for me is 1- OKC, 2- text, 3-phone call, 4-date).
I made clear to her that I don't usually move that fast and she was understanding about it but also persistent at the same time. Not in a mean way. Like, she wondered why it was a big deal, and why I didn't want to meet for a date. I told her that maybe there's a difference in how we both go about our pace in dating and that maybe it was an incompatibility thing between us in that regard. When I told her that it's generally out of my comfort zone, she said "Well maybe it's time to step out of that and try something new." (again though, it wasn't in a snappy way, but suggestive in a curious and wholesome manner). We then closed out the convo in like a weird limbo area, where she told me "I am willing to compromise. When do you want to talk again on the phone and how many times do you want to do it?" While that was nice of her to say, I still felt a little uncomfortable, but agreed to text with her.
For a day and a half after that, Sunday & most of Monday, I didn't message her because I digested what she mentioned about finding weird I didn't want to meet up...and I concluded that it was reflective of a broader set of insecurities about myself and that I was not ready to be dating anyone soon. A painful realization. But the truth.
I planned to call her the next night, on Tuesday, to tell her this. But she beat me to it, and messaged me Monday evening, expressing that she was upset that I didn't contact her, after she said she was willing to compromise. She told me that she really liked me but said she felt that she shouldn't always be initiating our interactions (and she was right. it wouldn't be fair to her if I did that). So I called her soon after she sent me those messages and explained, 24 hours earlier than I had planned, the truth.
She was again understanding for the most part and, although disappointed, graciously extended an offer for a future date when I was ready and if she was still single, saying that I have her number and I can just reach out. The offer of friendship was floated around, but she said that she preferred for our contact to go dormant for a while until I ever reached out to her again. She didn't want friendship, because she told me about a prior experience she had with a former date that became a friend and how much resentment and heartbreak it caused. So I respected that, and accepted her offer of a future date with her still being on the table (not at all guaranteed, but hypothetically still possible).
I also made mention that I would likely temporarily deactivate my OKCupid account while going on this journey of self growth.
However.....
The next night, on Tuesday, I logged onto OKCupid to deactivate my account, but not before noticing that the chat window of our conversation on the site was gone and that her profile was no longer visible (she had blocked me).
I have no idea how to interpret this and where to go from here.
Because -
1) Maybe she changed her mind.
2) I know she's very active on the site. Even though I didn't log in for most of Tuesday, maybe she thought I was lying when I said I would deactivate and just went ahead and blocked me out of anger? Because why would she go ahead and block me if I told her I was deactivating anyways? Also - if we go months without talking, wouldn't she forget what I look like when I contact her, without my profile to reference? Maybe she doesn't want to know what I look like anymore because she's done with me. Despite it only having been 24 hours since I promised to deactivate, she got upset when I didn't text her after 24 hours....so there is precedent for her reacting this way.
3) Or maybe she figured "I have his number now. No need to still be able to see his profile."
So my questions are -
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Is blocking me necessarily, or likely, a bad sign from her?
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Is it likely that she saw I hadn't deactivated yet and just got fed up? Is it likely that she just decided to end things altogether? Even though I have her phone number, I don't know if she's blocked me from there either, because the only way to know is by texting or calling her.
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Finally...Would it be a BAD idea if I texted her, mentioning that I deactivated my account and saying that, in the process of doing so, I noticed she blocked/deleted our chat on OKCupid - and ask if everything is okay? Why or why not would this be unwise?
I really need help because...the temptation is killing me. I don't want to text her a few months from now and find out that she closed the door to us dating because she thought I wasn't being honest with her. But I also don't want to come across needy (would that be needy?).
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