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Thursday, April 1, 2021

What next?

Thanks in advance for reading, it's kinda long.

I started taking ballroom dance lessons about a month ago. I'm 35 m, most students are middle aged couples. Third class in walks a beautiful 29 f. We are both there solo so we dance together most classes for the last month. She's nice, smart, she laughs at my dumb jokes.

I ask her to go roller skating with me, she responds with an enthusiastic "I'd love to go skating". We meet at my place I drive us to my local rink. On the way we talk. Conversation flows nicely. She opens about some difficult things she went through the year before. She is a caretaker for an elderly relative so she's very covid safe. Masks on at all times. I respect that and do not go for a kiss.

After the date I text her "hope you got home safe" and a callback to some joke from earlier. She responds the next day with a laugh and says she did get home safe and used a blushing smiley emoji. Now this girl didn't look at her phone once in the 4 hours we were together and she has never used an emoji in any of her texts with me. From this and how she laughed even harder at my jokes as the night went on, I took this to mean she enjoyed the date and another was in the cards. Plus she told me she had fun.

Date was Saturday night. On Wednesday she's not at dance class. I was going to ask her out then so I called her after. She seemed upset so I didn't ask. Thursday I call again to ask her out. She doesn't answer but texts back a few minutes later. I ask if she wants to go out again on the weekend, I have a date planned. She says she has "to be completely honest with me, she's not in a place for anything more than friendship at the moment". Also says she had fun and could use the exercise of some skating. I tell her "no worries. If we're not going on the date I had planned then I'll be going skating at a different rink you can join me if you'd like" (I've been skating 20 years and I go pretty much every weekend.) She accepts the offer.

We have class the next day everything between us is normal. Friendly, jokes, eye contact while dancing. Saturday we skate and again we have fun. She is a beginner and I even help her skate around people when she isn't able by physically moving her in a safe direction, by her request.

At dance class yesterday she seemed cold. Very little eye contact. Something changed.

It's possible she really isn't ready for a relationship right now, last year was a bad year for her. Bad relationship, in between jobs right now, going back to school soon and more that I don't even want to mention anonymously. Or she may have been letting me down easy. I wish I knew but I didn't ask and I don't think I should now.

We still have class together and I feel like being friends is really my only option at this point. Though I know the typical internet dating advice in this situation is to decline the friendship offer.

Anybody have any thoughts on all of this? Other than dating a classmate is a bad idea, I know that now. Anyone ever have experience with someone that wasn't ready that eventually became ready?

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