35/f met a man 40/m. We recently (little less than month ago) began seeing each other. We are both single parents of kids around the same ages.
After a series of failed relationships and some therapy, I have found myself being content with my life as is. My thought was, if someone came along who fit in my life, I would be open to a relationship.
I have hobbies, friends, a career, a house. I enjoy time to myself. I enjoy doing things with just my kids. He seems to…want to do much more together & spend much more time together and I’m feeling overwhelmed. Not that I wouldn’t be open to much more time together in the future, but it’s so early and I’m just not there yet.
Example- next weekend my children will be at their dad’s. During the weekends my ex has them, I like to get my nails done, spend some time with my best friend, relax in peace at home and ride my horses. Next Friday my best friend invited me to a pool party at her friends house and I would like to go. I’m not quite ready to introduce this new guy to my friends so I don’t really want to invite him yet.
I mentioned to him what I like to do on my kid-free weekends and he said he can come with me to get nails done, watch while I ride my horses. But I enjoy that being “my” time after getting virtually no alone time during the work week. He wants us to spend every night without my kids together. I would love to spend one or two nights with him and have Friday night to myself, plus Saturday during the day. I have my kids every moment I’m not working except for 5 nights a month. I cherish my time.
His children know all about me and want to meet me, spend time with me, etc. I have not told mine anything and don’t plan to yet.
Do I sound like I’m being unreasonable? Is it understandable, early in a relationship to still keep some spade for individual lives? He does not have hobbies or things he enjoys like I do.
How can I bring this up? He is very kind and sweet to me and so far has been honest and upfront, which I really appreciate.
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