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Sunday, December 4, 2022

Need help with dating purely online? (Or, is this going anywhere?)

About two months ago, I met this guy online. Originally, I messaged him because I was looking to make friends in another country, as I will be spending a few months there next year, and I wanted to get a headstart on getting to know people there (He doesn't currently live there, but he comes from there). So, I messaged him, and since many people on the site we met on are often just looking for someone to have sex with, I made a point of making real conversation about hobbies, interests and everyday life.

So what happened is that at some point during our conversation, I got attracted to this person, and eventually I asked him if he wanted to chat on another platform, because the one we were writing on doesn't send notifications for new messages, so we were usually each writing only one message per day. He agreed and send me his username for the other platform, which is where we've been chatting ever since.

An this is were it gets confusing to me. Whenever we are chatting, we usually learn new things about each other and we exchange some jokes. But sometimes he doesn't reply for a few days. I absolutely get that he has a busy job and also other stuff to do than write with me. I try to send him a message once every evening, and when he doesn't reply for two days, I'll wait a week before I try again, but it has never come so far. He's always responded again after 2-3 days.

That seems like he's only interested in being friends, and I'd be fine with that. But on the other hand, he's also 'casually' mentioned to me before, that he sometimes feels lonely and he has jokingly asked me 'Will I ever find true love?', so I wonder, are those really just comments, or might there be potential for more?

Whenever he hasn't responded to my texts for a few days, I always feel like I should just accept that he's not interested, and I should not wait for more than friendship. But whenever I'm thinking of messaging another person I might be interested in, I'm afraid that I'm throwing away something with him.

What I need is closure, and I really just want to send him a message explaining that I'm attracted to him and asking if he'd be interested in an online relationship unti we have a chance to actually meet (Which is not too difficult, since our countries are not that far apart).

I just need help with how to phrase the message without seeming clingy or desperate or anything else negative. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Most advice I could find online is for in-person relationships, and I can't apply them to my situation.

submitted by /u/N4ddiiie
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