TLDR; Dating for two months, things are ramping up, and the guy wants to take a break for a month. Should I break things off, wait it out or something else?
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I (36F) have been seeing this guy (41M) casually but consistently over the last two months. He recently got out of a serious relationship (ended badly) and started therapy (he has avoidant attachment and trust issues). I'm also recently out of fairly serious relationship.
Things have been going smoothly, but slowly due to us both wanting to take it slow. We go on dates once a week, text once or twice a day, etc. Haven't slept together yet, and aren't exclusive but I didn't get the feeling he's really seeing anyone else. He's polite, considerate and good about planning dates.
In the last two dates, things had been heating up a little physically, so I communicated to him that I thought I'd like to start seeing and hearing from him more regularly (like once or twice a week and occasional phone calls, etc.).
This resulted in a much bigger relationship talk than I was expecting (he wanted to talk about how I saw us coming together as a couple and what our lifestyle would look like, etc.) and him basically admitting to me that he already feels over-extended as it is. He has a number of hobbies and family commitments (no kids, just family nearby), and he already feels like he's struggling to fit in dating me as well. He feels like he would have to give something up to date me and doesn't know what he'd want that to be (it's unlikely I'd join him in his activities since his hobbies are pretty physically strenuous activities that would be difficult for me or I wouldn't be good at etc. His ex shared many of his hobbies with him.) Meanwhile, there's been some new developments at work which he's juggling and stuff that he's needing to work on (like books his therapist asked him to read). He just feels like he needs to figure some stuff out.
I ended up asking if he needed a little time temporarily (I meant like a week or so), which he jumped on pretty quickly -- suggesting that we reconnect in a month. (He asked if I need him to keep in touch during that time, but I said that if he was feeling like he wanted space from me, I was inclined to give it to him.) He reassured me that this wasn't his way of enact a drawn out break up, but admitted he wasn't sure how he'd he be feeling in a month (like if he'd feel ready to move things forward or if he'd want to end things.)
At this point, I'm not sure what I want to do here. I of course intend to continue dating other people. But assuming I don't meet anyone else, I don't know how open I am to restarting things in a month. I'm worried this is going to be a continual pattern of him withdrawing dramatically and I don't want to feel like I'm dating someone while constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Should I just break things off now? Is there a promise or whatever I should ask of him if he wants to pick things up again? Should I just wait it out and see what happens?
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