Matched with a guy on hinge (both in our 30s), after a brief conversation we decided to meet up for a date.
Before the date we talked about an activity and he said “we’ll do that on our second date”, which I found a bit icky because we haven’t even spoken on the phone or met yet, it just seems too eager. I tell him that and he apologises and says it was a joke and that he tends to put his foot in his mouth sometimes.
We meet and the date goes very well, he’s a very ambitious guy who is obsessed with working out, staying busy and being healthy. He tells me he’s been sober for a couple of years and that he’s had a hard drug addiction which he managed to kick on his own (did a couple of meetings but no therapy). At first I’m in owe of his strength and openness but then I start thinking that he’s probably replaced his addiction with new “healthy” addictions and that his obsessive patterns aren’t remediated.
The days after the date I’m away for business and he texts me a lot, double and triple texts, and then says things like “I won’t bother you anymore”. I say I’ll respond when I have time as I’m busy with my trip. He apologises but the next day does the same thing. Sends me selfies, sends pics of his lunch and says he’ll make that for me sometimes. It’s just all feeling obsessive for someone I know for basically 2 hours.
Guess my question is am I being avoidant and self destructive or is this weird behavior? Should I communicate that his texts make me anxious and that I prefer to get to know each other in a date setting and not in messaging all day? Or is his borderline obsessive behavior a red flag? I haven’t dated in forever so not sure what to think.
Edit: some typos
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