About 8 months ago, I (29F) met this guy (32M) through a backpacking meetup. We were both so passionate about hiking and the outdoors that we eventually just started going on hikes and overnight trips alone together. I was so attracted to him and he teased me and made me laugh all the time, but I wasn’t sure he felt the same way. It was getting to the point where it was painful to spend this much time with him and not know how he felt. So after two months, I decided to act. I called him up and casually asked him he wanted to go grab dinner one time, and he asked me to clarify as friends or as a date. I said I’m good with either, but I was thinking a date. He responds sort of harshly and says that I’m too young for him, that he dates older people. Turns out, this whole time he thought I was 23/24 and didn’t realize I was much closer in age to him. When I pointed this out, he just responded that “we were too alike.” So, while incredibly hurt, I accepted the rejection and at least knew now that I could move on. He tried reaching out/we communicated only a few times after that, but we never saw each other again. Eventually, I just stopped talking to him and I was okay with that.
6 months later, he calls me and I honestly thought my phone was malfunctioning. I didn’t answer and let it go to voicemail. I was annoyed because I thought he was out of my life, but I was also intrigued. The voicemail just said how we hadn’t talked in awhile and he was wondering if I’d gone on any adventures and wanted to talk again. I waited the whole day, but I eventually called him back. He begins the conversation immediately by saying how much he misses me, how much he misses our crazy hikes together, that he can’t find anyone else like me and to do these things with him. Then he just wants me to tell him about all the adventures I’ve done and what I’ve been up to. So I told him. The outdoors are my life-this is what I do. I’ve found several other guys to hike with as well, so to be honest, I didn’t really miss him at all (I didn’t say that though. I did mention I go hiking with other guys all the time). But the phone call was so sweet, I felt like he may have redeemed himself.
So, he’s called me everyday since and we planned a weekend trip that we just got back from. Nothing was awkward and it was so much fun. Our personalities just click together and we laughed the entire time. In fact, it did seem like he was being a lot nicer to me than he was before. He complimented me in ways he never did before, calling me “awesome” and telling me how funny I am. He even called me on the phone to tell me “how much he loved me right now” after planning an awesome trip. I’d be lying to myself though if I said I wasn’t still attracted to him, and this is where I need perspective.
I don’t want to be a fool. I already put myself out there, and it failed. I didn’t flirt with him at all this weekend, because in my head, it’s safe to act platonic. But if I’m always platonic, I’m not really getting what I want. So I’m hoping for some men’s perspective on this... what do you think is going on in his head? Is he now interested in me, or am I just someone fun to go on backpacking trips with? Is there even a difference? We’re now starting to plan a backpacking trip that may not even happen until next year. So he’s clearly thinking long term. What’s happening?
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