A couple of months back I (25M) met this beautiful girl (23F) and we hit it off. We went on a few dates and were having an amazing time together. She was making me excited to see her everytime and I was making her world rock. I tried to initiate sex a couple of times and was always told some version of no not now, I think it's too early.
I decided a month later that we started dating, to surprise her and book us a weekend together at a beach hotel. Once there we had a great time. At night I decided to initiate sex again and to my weird sight, she was really into it. We had safe sex that night but it was weird, she was really not enjoying it and I started to feel the pressure to be underperforming. For a bit of context, she's an extremely hot women and she's had plenty of boyfriends before me and she has been living alone for years so in my mind she's been having sex regularly somehow. We woke up second day and saw some hard blood on the sheets but didn't really question it, both of us believed it must have been something from the hotel before. She was feeling dizzy a bit also in the morning but we didn't look into it.
Fast forward to months ago we're in a relationship for 3 months now and have been having a lot of great times together. She tells me that I was her first but I don't really react to that.
Fast forward to today, we have a talk about that and I try to explain to her why I think it's extremely uncool that she didn't tell me at that time that I was going to be her first. I honestly feel that it's a conscious choice that I being a part of the sexual encounter, have the right to know as it entails a lot of responsibilities, it also means that if I decide to have sex, I would be less anxious about performance and more wary of not hurting her and making sure everything is smooth for her, or even decide to wait and make sure she's ready mentally for it. She thinks that had she told me, if I turned out to be an asshole, I would feel like I have power over her as she's still a virgin, and felt too proud to have done that. (We come from a culture where sex is a bit taboo). Anw now I'm mad at her and I just need to see how you view this
AITA and how can I see her point of view?
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