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Thursday, October 1, 2020

The best answer for guys like me who are unable to find a girlfriend

I have posted multiple times here, scoured the whole internet for suggestions, took down and implemented so many improvement suggestions in my life, nothing worked.

Then, I read this answer here: https://www.girlsaskguys.com/girls-behavior/q289086-why-do-lot-of-guys-feel-worthless-or-depressed

And I feel that the user Killfest400 just killed it with exactly what I, and almost everyone who's at our stage would feel. Never I actually resonated so much with a view, and just wanted to share this here for people who are in the same boat, and trying to understand what's wrong with them.

I'll quote his reply here, as this is just the most perfect and rounded off explanation I've seen till date.

Any number of reasons.

For one, confidence. You have to be some sort of super optimist to have a 50 rejections to 0 dates rate and keep your head up high. Despite what many women seem to think, we don't like rejection either. For guys that have women experience, they can more easily attribute it to "Well, she's just not interested." For the guys who have yet to get a yes, the only common factor in their constant rejection is themselves, so they suffer self-esteem issues. With that comes a lack of confidence (which women basically require), and it's basically a downward spiral from there. You don't become "immune" to rejection, you basically accept it before you even try.

For two, media. Like women, men are constantly pressured by the media to look/act a certain way to be desirable. Obviously, not all guys are that guy from the Old Spice commercials, and for some, it hurts their self-esteem. It's basically a "no girl wants me because I'm not a man" type of thing. It's not good for your ego when you feel that your very masculine essence is jeopardy. Despite what women might say about men's egos, it really does encompass most of what they find attractive about us. Success is a large part of our egos.

For three, companionship. I, like many other guys, would love to have an awesome girlfriend I can spend my time with. I was raised with respectful and chivalrous values towards women. To get your first taste of the dating world by being rejected for the asshole guys is pretty disheartening. It's sort of like a "everything you knew about women and dating is wrong" scenario. You just feel lost and confused. Some guys come to places like this to ask what they're doing wrong. Some look to other sources, like pickup artist material. It's hard to believe in having a special relationship with a girl when all you ever see is the girls drooling over the asshole jocks. You become bitter, cynical, and jaded, and girls like you even less.

Basically, you'd probably feel the same if you felt undesirable, unwanted, and lonely.

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