I’ve [25 F] been hooking up with my FWB [27 M] for a good year. We agreed to be monogamous, but we could date other people and if we found someone we liked, we’d break things off. We started to actually talk when we would meet up, not just sex, and the sex also started to get increasingly passionate. He insisted he doesn’t want a relationship. I slept with someone else to see if intensity was the same (very stupid idea I know) and I wasn’t planning on telling my FWB about it bcs it was a one time thing and I did not plan on continuing it. Once FWB did find out though, he was extremely confused, hurt, scared about potential exposure, and the first thing he said was “this is exactly why I gave up on love”. He ended the FWB on the spot and left after about ten minutes or so of us talking.
I then reached out a couple months later, apologized again, and we agreed to meet up. This time he was super happy to share he’d met other girls that he slept with other girls, and he wanted to know whether I was seeing someone else. I was seeing someone but it wasn’t serious.
About a month after that, he texted me out of the blue that he misses me and we met up again. This time both he and I hadn’t slept with anyone else in between the previous time we saw each other and now. I asked if he wants to do this FWB thing again and he said yes, but that he’s considering sleeping with someone else but if he does, he’ll let me know. He said he wouldn’t want to start something with someone new and still have this going. So I said okay.
But then I thought about it and since he said he doesn’t want a relationship, is he seriously willing to throw this convenient arrangement away for someone he’s known less time than me? It honestly felt like the last straw. I asked him what would happen if things do work out with the other girl, that this would just be over? And then he proceeded to tell me he actually didn’t mean it, that he just said it, that it has no meaning.
So though I’m overreacting, I don’t want to be left on the sidelines. He doesn’t want a relationship but then wants to start things with someone new? Why would he even come back in the first place after I “cheated” on him if he can get laid anywhere else? Why not just sleep with those other chicks he met? I am thinking of cutting this off cold turkey and moving on.
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