Hi Reddit, I don’t even know where to start. I’m currently living with my partner — he’s honestly one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. He doesn’t deserve how I’ve been treating him.
The truth is, I think I’ve become verbally abusive. Whenever I get angry, I say hurtful things. I snap over small stuff, and it’s like I can’t control it. I’ve tried to change, but no matter how hard I try, I end up getting mad again when he does something I don’t like.
I’m tired. I don’t want to keep being this version of myself — always angry, always hurting someone who doesn’t deserve it. I just want to end things so I can stop causing pain.
The problem is, he doesn’t want to break up. I’ve tried multiple times, but he always says no, or convinces me to stay. I’ve even thought about doing something awful, like cheating, just so he’ll finally leave me. I know that’s a horrible thought, but I’m desperate for a way out.
I just want peace. I want to be alone for a while, to fix myself and stop this cycle. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.
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