(Accidentally hit post before finishing title! Sorry I'm nervous!)
For context: I came out of a long-term relationship that ended in a failed short marriage where the step-parent dynamic completely failed (I didn't ask them to step up, they wilingly did so). Spent a few years single on purpose, I have a kid and wasn't ready to introduce that complication and I dont really plan to again. Eventually started dating casually and it turned into something I didn't plan on.
We broke up early on, rekindled, and only recently has he started showing that he's actually serious about this (only been a few months since we met the first time). Now I want to sit down and have a real conversation about where we're going but there's a problem.
I don't think he remembers I have a kid. I mentioned it once on our first date and he changed the subject mentioning about he wanted to take his friend's kid as his own jokingly (I guess the word kid triggered the memory), and it's never come up since. He doesn't ask a lot of questions about my life in general, and he genuinely doesn't seem to retain things we've talked about before, I've had to remind him of things from our first date and earlier conversations when he does talk about it. When I bring something up again he doesn't remember, we end up bickering. Nothing intense, but he jokes that I'm gaslighting him, which means the conversation derails before it even starts. (Not saying he doesn't remember things about me, recently he has like food, hobbies, etc.)
How do I bring up something this important without it turning into a "did I know that?" debate before I even get to the actual point?
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