So I’ve been hooking up with this guy. Little context: I’ve known him for 7–8 years, and I’ve honestly been obsessed with him since the beginning.
About 4 years ago, we were casually involved for around 3 months. At the time, he never clearly told me he only wanted something casual. One day while we were hooking up, he casually said, “Don’t get too attached,” and that’s when it hit me that this wasn’t serious for him at all. Even though it was only 3 months, it affected me way more than it should have.
Cut to November 2025 , we reconnected. Since then, we’ve been hanging out, making out, and recently got physical again. Before reconnecting, I had convinced myself not to get attached this time, but over time I got attached again… honestly, obsessed too. My happiness literally started depending on whether he was meeting me or not.
The weird thing is: we barely text. We only meet every 15–20 days, and we mostly just talk to make plans. He never texts after meeting, never checks in emotionally, nothing.
But recently after getting physical, we had a really deep conversation. He could completely see through me emotionally, and I think that made me get even more attached. Meanwhile, he seems emotionally detached, almost robotic. According to him, he’s “built different” because after his breakup with his first love, he just doesn’t get attached anymore.
He still believes in “go with the flow” with me, but apparently that also includes being physical without emotional commitment. He’s even told me I should meet other guys.
I also feel weird because with him, my natural instinct is to care for him openly -like being clingy sometimes, giving random pecks, hugging him for no reason, showing affection in small ways. But I hold myself back because he doesn’t really do any of that. It makes me feel like I’m “too much” for wanting emotional and physical affection beyond just hooking up.
I know this probably sounds obvious from the outside, but emotionally I’m struggling. It’s becoming intolerable trying not to get attached to someone I clearly already am attached to.
How do you cope when you want more emotionally but the other person clearly doesn’t? And how do you stop basing your happiness around someone who gives you so little emotionally? how can i handle this situation differently ?
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