I (23F) got my ex's name tattooed when I was 18. It’s been covered up for years now to the point where you genuinely cannot tell unless you stare really hard at the tattoo.
A guy I was talking to recently found out it was originally an ex’s name and got really upset about the fact that I never told him. He started saying things like “what else are you hiding from me?” and acting like this was some massive trust issue.
My thing is: it’s covered up because I moved on years ago. I literally do not think about it. It’s irrelevant to my current life, so it never crossed my mind to “disclose” it to someone. It’s not like I’m secretly still attached to my ex.
I explained to him that there’s a difference between intentionally hiding something important and simply not bringing up something irrelevant that genuinely does not matter to me anymore.
But honestly, what bothered me wasn’t that he was initially upset or caught off guard, I understand. It was how he handled it. Instead of communicating normally, he immediately jumped to “what else are you hiding?” and treated me like I’d committed some huge betrayal over a tattoo that’s literally been covered for years. It felt extremely dramatic and accusatory for no reason.
So I stopped talking to him, not because he had feelings about the tattoo, but because of how he communicated those feelings and escalated the situation.
Was I wrong to not disclose a covered up ex tattoo? And for future relationships, is this actually something I should disclose on like the first or second date?
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