I have been insecure since childhood because of trauma, relatives, friends, taunts, and constant comments about my skin color and appearance. I was never the “smart” or “pretty” person growing up, and it honestly took me more than 25 years to finally find someone who genuinely loves me or is interested in me.
But now when I look at my relationship, I feel like all those years of insecurity and emotional damage are slowly taking over the one thing I wanted the most.
Lately I’ve been questioning whether I’m becoming emotionally toxic in my relationship.
I overthink a lot, get insecure easily, and sometimes create fights because I keep needing reassurance or assume the worst. I think social media and unrealistic romantic expectations affected me more than I realized.
One of the worst things is that sometimes I suddenly feel like he might be cheating on me, even when there’s no actual proof. I start crying, panicking, or accusing him based on feelings and overthinking. Then he patiently shows me proof, lets me check things, and I realize I was wrong for questioning his loyalty.
After that, I feel extremely guilty because I know it must hurt him too. I feel bad that he has to experience this from someone he loves.
My partner isn’t perfect either, but lately I’ve started wondering if my insecurity and fear of not being “good enough” are putting too much pressure on him emotionally.
I genuinely want to improve without becoming emotionally numb or suppressing all my needs. Has anyone dealt with this before, either personally or with a partner?
I don’t want to ruin someone or something that precious I feel bad .
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