As a 21 y/o guy, all of my friends seem to think that it's out of the ordinary to have never had a gf before. I'm not socially awkward or super nervous in front of women or anything like that, I've just never really tried to date before, or be in a relationship with a woman before until about a year ago.
About 3 years ago, I became friends with this girl. I never really thought of her "in that way" when I started to know her, mostly because she had a boyfriend. About a year later, her boyfriend broke up with her, and as her friend I was there to comfort her. After about a month or so, her and I started to hang out more and more, getting dinner together, talking every day, watching movies and shows together (basically spending a lot of time together), and eventually I developed really strong feelings for her.
Afraid that I would ruin what great friendship we had between us, I was hesitant in asking her to be my girlfriend, especially since I had no prior experience in asking someone that, and I didn't want to "scare her off" and cause her to avoid me. I spoke to a mutual friend of ours, in hope that she would help me figure out what to do. Our friend told me that I shouldn't ask her to be my girlfriend because she was still heartbroken over her last boyfriend that had dumped her, so I waited. About a month later of asking the mutual friend what I should do, I started to feel that I've fallen in love with this person, and eventually I ignored our mutual friend's advice and I told this girl that I've had very strong feelings for her, and that no matter how she felt, I wanted to maintain our friendship. She tells me that she loves hanging out with me and she loves being around me, but she doesn't feel the same way about me, and that she was afraid if we started dating that she didn't think it would work out. Obviously, my heart was broken. Even though I knew this was possibility that she wouldn't feel the same way, it still hurt to hear the truth.
A year later, we're both still fairly good friends. Not as close as we were, which sucks, but that's life I guess. We still keep in touch every once in a while, see how each other's doing, grab food or see a movie together once in a while, stuff like that. We both admit that we miss hanging out with each other, but I know (and I think she knows as well) that giving myself space is best for my emotional state. Since I told her about how I felt, she's dated on and off, I've stayed single, mostly to focus on myself (cliche but its what I've been doing).
What I'm confused about is where I should go from here. I've tried using dating apps and going on dates that friends set me up on, but I have yet to find someone that I really like/someone I develop a bond with. Am I doing something wrong? Is it something about me that I have yet to figure out as to why it's so hard for me to develop a bond with someone now? Imo I feel that I'm waiting for someone that I've developed a strong bond with (obviously not the girl I already mentioned, I'm not dumb. Its that kind of connection with someone that I'm looking for), would that be unrealistic? Please reply with any kind of advice you can give.
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