So I just had a good 3rd date with this girl who I went out a year ago on one date with (we thought the other person wasn’t infested), and it’s literally like been the smoothest dates ever. Our last date felt just so comfortable and normal, and although there were awkward moments, I feel like this is the first girl that has and equal attraction to me as I do to her.
We haven’t had sex, but I’m someone who couldn’t even make a move on a girl I was seeing for 3 months, and here I am just cuddling with this super hot girl and just caressing her butt and massaging her thighs while she cuddles up in my chest. She just pulls me in closer when we’re making out and she seems as crazy into it as I am.
Now I guess I’m just feeling anxious about having that taken away from me and it’s crazy I finally found like someone who clicks with me on a physical level. I’ve always been able to connect with any girl mentally and get a girl to open up to me, but never could feel comfortable expressing my sexual desires.
I’m thinking about like every insecurity and way the relationship could end and it almost makes me want to self destruct my situation, bc I’m stressed out and have some sort of subconscious self fulfilling prophecy.
I’m only 20 years and am pretty inexperienced and honestly this is how I envisioned like a relationship to be. I guess I’m scared of it not happening again for awhile if it fails and every insecurity I have is being projected. Wondering why she doesn’t text much, if she sees a serious relationship between us, if I should further invest myself further bc I’m scared she’s a party girl (long story), if she truly likes me, and if I can ever accomplish this feeling again.
I have changed vastly both physically and mentally/personality wise from pre college, to college, and I’m scared of it being some kind of rarity.
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