Hey, so I'll try to make it short. I'm 21 and female. I'm living in a culture where people my age are getting married. Now all of my friends are married and I'm the only single one. I'm personally fine with it, because I'm focusing on my studies right now. But there is one question I'm asking myself more and more, because literally everyone in my life told me my standards for men were way too high and that's why I'm still single...
So I wanna know the answer from you guys... What I expect my future partner to be like:
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Not being lazy (I don't care if he went to uni, what he's working as or what kind of income he has. I just don't want him to be lazy all day long and not wanting to do anything in his life, because I'm not lazy either)
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I want him to treat me as a human being (that means, I don't want him to say things like: "You're a woman, you shouldn't be working." "You're a woman, you shouldn't be studying." "You're a woman, you have to cook and clean." Etc etc. Trust me, I got that a lot. I like cooking and doing chores, BUT only people around me don't act like I HAVE to do it. Also I still want to study, I still want to work and I still can be a housewife). I could write a lot more about how some men told me "Oh, women don't understand how the world works." But I won't. Just let me stop right here or I'll write a whole book about that topic. I think you got what I'm trying to say here.
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Having respect. Not only with me, but with everyone. I don't like people being disrespectful to other people at all. I wasn't raised like that and I don't wanna see that in my future partner or children.
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Being my friend. I don't want him to be only my partner. I want him to be my friend or best friend. I know, men and women usually don't think and talk the same way, BUT that doesn't mean they can't be (best) friends. Understanding eachothers humour, supporting eachother, being there for eachother, having some things in common, etc.
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Believing in god, because I want to share my spirituality with him. But not being extreme with it either..
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Not being self centered (not always thinking only about of himself)
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Not being childish (I don't mean "Be serious 24/7!". I mean "Recognize that you're an adult and act like that when needed.")
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Being (genuinely) a good person from heart
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Loyalty
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In appearance I truely only care about good hygiene and their smile. I love when people smile and I've realized I feel attracted to people with a genuine, nice smile
Okay that's all. That's what I wish my partner to be like and I always thought my expectations were normal, until people started telling me that was way too much. I guess it also has something to do with my culture, but is it really that much to ask for? Some older women told me "Back in the day we really only cared about having a roof over our heads and a bed to sleep in. We didn't even know we had to have expectations in them. You'll never find a husband with those expectations." I didn't want to be disrespectful so I didn't say anything and just smiled, but in my head I was like: "That's your fault...not mine. Why do I have to follow your standards?"
Deep in my heart I feel like I'm still in the right, but sometimes I get frustrated about that whole situation. I just need some advice or some of your opinions.
Thank you for reading everything and sorry for the long text
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