I (23M) began messaging a girl on a dating app (22F) last week. We had a great conversation on the app, and after about a day, I asked her out, and we set up a date for this Thursday. I know that’s far out, but one of us happened to be busy on all the other days, so Thursday is the earliest we could meet. Once we agreed to go out, we exchanged numbers and eventually transitioned into texting. The day we set up the date, which was last Tuesday, we texted for an hour or so after that just to talk about our days and stuff, before the conversation faded. I did not text her at all on Wednesday, and then Thursday I sent a text asking how her day was, how work was etc, and that transitioned into another lengthy conversation, which eventually faded out. Then we did not talk at all on Friday, and I sent her a text yesterday asking how her weekend was going so far. She did not respond to this, so I sent her one more text today simply saying Happy Valentine’s Day and hope she had a good weekend. Complete radio silence. The Valentine’s Day text was not at all romantically intended-my friend’s mother wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day at Mass this morning, and obviously the two of us are not romantically involved, so it was not intended to mean anything.
Despite the fact that I knew she had plans yesterday, this situation suddenly seems unpromising and feels like I’m getting set up to be stood up on Thursday. Yesterday was one thing, but the fact that I haven’t heard from her in response to yesterday’s text OR today’s is a bit worrying. All of my female friends think I messed the whole thing up by only texting her every other day as opposed to every day. In fact, one said to me, “If I thought a guy was only interested enough in me to text me every other day as opposed to every day, I’d be done with him.”
I’m so sick of this crap. I thought that every other day was perfect. Do we really want to be having extensive text conversations every day and finding out extremely personal details about each other before we even meet? Complete radio silence after setting up a date a week in advance is pretty bad, but what is wrong with every other day? And why couldn’t she have reached out to me instead of doing this if she was desperate to talk every day?
I know, I do sound freaky here, but people our age tend to have their phones within arm’s reach of them pretty much all the time. I’m not going to sugarcoat the situation for myself. With how long it’s been since we last texted, and the fact that she’s gone completely silent, there’s probably about a 95% chance this date won’t happen. I had a first date cancelled on me last spring because I didn’t text AT ALL before the date, but I thought nothing was wrong with every other day. And now everyone I know seems to think that’s the entire reason for this.
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