Earlier this year I was dating someone for around 5 months… we had an amicable breakup (or at least I thought) but at some point she was clear she was extremely upset and didn’t want to stay in touch. I respected that until yesterday when I texted her again.
During this time, I’ve looked deep into what I did during the relationship and decided to text her to saw how sorry I was because of how I treated her (and other situations where I acted/reacted poorly). She agreed with me that I was indeed not the best partner and that with her relationship with me, she learned what she actually wants (she didn’t specify what that was).
After that, I looked back into my last 3 or 4 relationships and found out that none of them talk to me anymore and I actually hurt people. Every relationship I’ve ever had, I end up sabotaging it and making my partners cry one or multiple times and hating me in the end.
I don’t want to do this anymore… I keep myself away from dating apps because I don’t want to hurt more people… I’m afraid I’ll do the same over and over and over again… I got to think that if they’re asked: who was your worst experience? They will just point at me and say: that guy! And it depresses me, I feel horrible and would like to “fix” myself.
I don’t know what to do…
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