For the record, I am polyamorous and am consensually dating three people (my long term girlfriend, and two people I'm casually seeing). My girlfriend and one of the people I'm seeing don't make me anxious at all, but the third? I have no clue what she wants and I feel like I'm not hitting the mark.
At first it was great, and I figured her lack of making the first move was just standard girl flirting, but lately she has been getting very overwhelmed with keeping up with polyamory (responding to messages, scheduling dates, etc) as she is new to it and very recently got four partners, including me. She keeps saying that she's very overwhelmed from it all, but insists it's not my fault. All of this is completely understandable, because thats a lot to handle! The problem I have no clue what she wants. I asked if I should back off a bit and she said no but she's pretty clearly exhausted from maintaining these relationships. Hell, I'm too afraid to escalate to even just kissing her because she never initiates anything and if I initiate anything, she acts like she's just okay with it, not enjoying it. She'll recommend an album to me and ask me to text her my reaction to the whole thing live and then she'll say I "talk a lot" and then she'll backtrack by saying she "doesn't care either way." But she still thinks of me as a partner??
My other relationships are nothing like this- everyone is completely transparent all the time. I click with her in a way that I rarely get with others, so I don't want to toss this all out, but she makes me really anxious. At the same time, I have a long history of neglect from partners and parents alike so I don't know if the red flags I'm seeing are just harmless similarities to past bad relationships. Whatever I decide, I'll at least wait until she's in a good place and recharged from being overwhelmed, but I don't know if I should just quit while I'm ahead and just be friends with her.
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/FD1uGna
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment