am i stupid ? for some reason when i get approached by a girl in the club , either if she starts dancing with me , joins me in the smoking area or just starts talking to me , i just can’t do it . it’s like i revert back to being 12 years old and i have no idea what to do .
like i’m 20 years old ( and autistic if that helps that probably means something ) and usually when i go out ill get approached at least once by someone . times i specifically remember are when we were dancing in like a circle , a girl opposite me was dancing very suggestively while staring directly at me and smiling . she kept trying to approach me but for some reason i just moved backwards so she couldn’t see me anymore . like all my friends were telling me to talk to her , i was literally interested i just couldn’t ? like something in my head was blocking me from doing it .
another time i remember was being in the front row of the crowd standing next to a girl , the whole party she was looking at me and bumping into me . for some reason i was trying my hardest not to look at her … im stupid . one time she literally grabbed me and spun me around and had someone take a picture of us together ( it was halloween ) and then i just turned around and didn’t say anything ??? and then after the party she was still there and my friends were telling me to ask for her contacts but i just didn’t . i don’t know man .
usually when someone tries to talk to me i’m thinking in my head of a way to get out of the conversation . which i don’t understand because I WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE !!!! i feel so lonely , but then when im actually doing it i can’t ??? i don’t know man . the amount of times ive regretted not talking to someone is crazy .
anyway , what the hell do i do ? how do i block out the part of my brain that’s stopping me from dancing and talking to people ?? for context ive never had a girlfriend / kissed / had sex so i have no idea what im doing .
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