So I’ve been running into this situation a good amount in OLD. I’ll match with someone say on a Saturday, we’ll chat for a day or two and try to start planning a date. She’s busy next weekend so we have to plan for the weekend after (I can’t do weekday dates). Now there is a two week period of us talking before we even go on a first date.
The issue for me is this. I don’t enjoy texting with people I hardly know, I find it exhausting most of the time. I much prefer getting to know someone in person or at least over a phone call. After 4-5 days of mostly texting, some calling, I feel like I am just losing things to talk about for the first date. Some of the mystery is gone if we talk for two weeks before meeting up. It feels like I am playing a game trying to keep them interested and not feel neglected before our first date and I hate that feeling.
If it was purely up to me I would set up the date, talk for a little, and then happily see them then. I’ve found that most girls l match with like to talk daily, and I get that it’s a way for them to know I am still interested. If I take too long to respond (1/2 a day) I am usually ghosted. If my enthusiasm for texting daily fizzles out and it shows itself in my lackluster texting, I usually get ghosted. It’s way too taxing & time consuming for me to bring my A game texting (essentially a stranger) day after day for multiple weeks. Once I actually get to know someone this goes away and I actually enjoy texting them.
How should I handle these situations? Should I be upfront that I’m not a big texter, not agree with date plans that far out, or just swallow my distaste?
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