So recently I was trying to date this close friend of mine. To keep this short she told me she only sees me as a friend a day before Valentine's. I kind of expected this outcome considering even though we've been good friends for a year, she's not always available to just hangout. So not much opportunity to leave lots of subtle hints and even the ones I considered big flew right over her head. However, I think I should end my dating life here.
When I realized I had feelings for her and asked a mutual friend for help I told myself that she would be the last girl I go for. Any other romantic interests I may have I will shut down immediately because it just doesn't feel worth it anymore. With this close friend, I felt like I had finally reached the culmination of learning from my past relationship 3 years ago, and all the girls who either had no interest or had no idea I was interested. Knowing that all the precautions and effort I put in ended up being not for the desired result stings more than her saying she doesn't have the same feelings.
I honestly feel like this is getting to me more than it should and I hate this feeling. I'm mad at myself for thinking that if I "played my cards right" it would work out in the end. I'm also upset that it still lingers in my mind. I have more important things too worry about, I'm in grad school Pete's sake! Yet here I am, spiraling and overthinking about this and even my own friendships on campus just because I failed to get the girl. And of course I have a terrible way of coping with it.
Am I overthinking this? Is my anger at myself for believing it would workout justified? Is there a different perspective that I'm missing from all of this?
To clarify I'm not mad at her, and I'm happy that we're still friends and it's not awkward. I'm mad at myself and just lashing out at the world.
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