For those who are just going through a break up and are thinking about getting back in the game
It’s okay to still love them. You made great memories, you made bad memories. The end game was to be forever, sometimes it is sometimes it isn’t. In my case I met a girl who meant the world to me and in a sense still does. People grow apart and that’s okay. Sometimes your journey with someone is just a moment of time and it feels endless. The feeling of meeting someone and feeling like you have known them forever is an amazing feeling. But on the other hand knowing that you may have hurt them beyond belief is another. You learn from those mistakes you learn to live again. Just because they may have moved onto someone else doesn’t mean that they never loved you or that the love they gave to you was fake. Sometimes they mask the loss of someone with another person because they feel like they can’t be alone. You could say it’s like putting a bandaid on a bullet hole. It hurts, it stings, it makes you question everything you had with that person. Emotions are normal take your time to breathe even when it feels like you are drowning and every time you have the energy to bring yourself above the water you go right back under.
When someone leaves you grieve and you look back at the relationship and you replay everything in your head. In my relationship everything was great except for one thing. My family, they never attempted to get to know her. In fact they ignored her, and trash talked her. The reason being was because she had a daughter. A beautiful daughter. They never wanted to meet her and that really hurt. This wasn’t the reason we broke up but was a reason I failed the relationship. I was too busy trying to bring them into my family instead of creating our own little family. Just because your bonded by blood doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your happiness and that’s what I did. It consumed me. I used to say “why do I love someone so much but they hate her so much” but now it’s a “how could I constantly put her through all this hate and think it’s okay”. When she broke up with me I lost control of my emotions and it brought me to a place where I became the toxic one. I lost myself with losing her. I pushed my issues on her. I can still see her face as the tears rolled down saying “You were supposed to be the one.” We haven’t talked in months and 2 months to the day after breaking up she got into a new relationship. I’m okay with being single, what I’m not okay was the actions I did that led up to the break up. You live and you learn. I’ve learned that sometimes loving from a distance is okay. But what isn’t okay is losing yourself in a relationship that ended. Do I miss her yes. Do I think I will ever talk to her again No. She will always hold a spot in my heart with all the memories we shared. Memories my family has no idea about because I felt like I had to lie about.
The moral of the story is sometimes the one who is supposed to be there till the end are only a small chapter in your life, but the rest is still unwritten and no matter how down and how bad you feel you have the pen and paper to your life, you can only control so much but it’s your story. Just because you turn the page to a new chapter doesn’t mean you can’t look back at the last to realize that you have made progress today. Appreciate yourself, learn from life, you only have one.
Feel free to vent and speak your mind. No one is ever alone
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