Breaking it off with a girl but struggling to work out exactly why - ATX News Paper

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Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Breaking it off with a girl but struggling to work out exactly why

I (m29) met a girl (f30) on a dating app, we've had a few dates and it had generally been going well, we get on well and the sex is amazing but there's something missing and I can't quite put in to words what it is.

The last time we met up I realised that while I've enjoyed getting to know her, that spark just isn't there for me. I don't get it because I'm attracted to her and we have a good connection (hence the great sex) but there's just something missing between us when we're relaxing together.

I think she's pretty in to me and it's been fairly intense, I don't think I've led her on since I've been giving it a chance to see if something develops but I think it's got to the point where I need to break it off because I don't see it going anywhere, however it is going to come a bit out of the blue for her.

I can't help but feeling like a dick for doing this and I'm fairly sure she will be pretty upset about it which makes me die inside a little but I'm also sure I'm doing the right thing so I just need to get over myself and do it, which I will tomorrow since it's midnight right now where I am.

Now, what I really need advice about. I'm turning 30 soon and although that hasn't really bothered me, it has really brought in to focus that I want to find the right person and settle down. With that comes internal pressure to find someone and the worry that I won't. What actually worries me the most is that I haven't felt that said spark with someone for a few years, what if I never get that again?!

Like I say, I'm pretty sure I'm doing the right thing in breaking this off but there's a niggle saying to me that I'm doing it to early, expecting too much at such an early stage and that I should give this some time to develop. I think that's the pressure I'm putting on myself talking because I think in this situation 5 years ago I would have broken it off without a second thought because it doesn't feel right!

Thanks for reading my ramblings that I hope aren't too incoherent, any advice is much appreciated

submitted by /u/nobes91
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