I haven't made a single female friend since high school and I do not know what to do - ATX News Paper

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Saturday, February 20, 2021

I haven't made a single female friend since high school and I do not know what to do

I am 20 years old male and almost done with my Mechanical Engineering Bachelor's Degree. Since I was 16 I mainly was surrounded by a male environment because I chose a physics-oriented class which obviously is not a popular subject amongst females (18 males vs. 4 females). After I got my high school diploma I got accepted for a special type of program where you have a contract with a company that gives you a monthly income for the whole duration of the program. In my class are only 18 (15 males vs 3 females). Most people are 1-3 years older than me. I can't get along with most guys in my class and most of them are not very social people. Because of these circumstances, I couldn't manage to build up a social circle even though I live in Berlin.

My initial idea was that was going to make female friends by getting to know the social circles of friends. That's why I tried to make friends by going to meetups but the conversations there are pretty superficial which is why no lasting friendships end up happening. Additionally, most of the people who attend those events are guys who are primarily looking to meet women. That's why I stopped trying that method. I also do not like the idea of randomly approaching women in public (public transportation, parks, malls, etc.) because if I were a girl it would make me very uncomfortable if a random guy tried to hit on me while I am busy doing something. I've heard that many girls do not like this either. My friends met their girlfriends either through tinder or because they got messaged by younger girls from our high school on Instagram. I do not want a relationship with a girl that mainly is interested in me because I am a couple of years older than her. Those types of relationships seem too superficial to me.

I have 2 female friends from high school but one of them is not very social either while I am not interested in the social circle of the other.

I am a little bit ashamed of posting this because I do not think that I am the type of guy who is unworthy of having relationships or even just having contact with other women. I can cook, do sports, take care of my appearance, focus on a steady career, am independent, am a good listener (according to female encounters), etc. - all traits that are seen as desirable for relationships. A normal person would be surprised if I told him that I have this kind of problem. The main problem is just that up until now there haven't been any occasions where I could show my personality to other women.

What do sophisticated women do in their free time? How do females at my age normally find their boyfriends? What advice could you give a guy like me?

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