Hi I'm 25f, have never dated anyone. I have been on 2 dates in my whole life, never kissed anyone, nothing exciting has ever happened to me lol. There are lots of reasons for this: being really focused on school, feeling ugly and unworthy for my whole life (bc my mom told me I was haha), immigrant family, etc. etc.
Now I finally feel like I am worthy of love and want to put myself out there, but I'm not sure about the timing. I'm finishing med school now, have residency interviews coming up, and am starting residency in the summer. Not sure where I'll be going or how far away it will be. I want to start trying to date now, because I still feel very weird about it and think I need to at least start in order to get over the awkwardness. And then maybe when I move on to the next phase of my life in a few months, if I meet someone I won't push them away out of fear/feeling unworthy (which is what I did with the guy I went on 2 dates with... looking back, I realize that the reason why things didn't progress w/ him was because I was uncomfortable and couldn't believe that someone could be into me. It was not bc he didn't like me... so I'd like to avoid that in the future lol). Most of my friends have had lots of success on dating apps and I think that's the most realistic way for me to meet someone (bc my social life rn is just med school friends and they're all in relationships/don't know anyone else here who they can set me up with). I am thinking of trying online dating again (did it briefly before COVID, felt weird and stopped lol) but sometimes I wonder if there's even a point since I'm going through a life transition right now and need to focus on my interviews. I don't want to mess up my career over this (but I am also not sure if that's something I really need to be worried about because really how much could it distract me?? But also the stakes are REALLY high for these interviews) But on the other hand, I'm already so behind and waiting until residency will put me even further behind - and will anyone want to be with me if I know absolutely nothing about dating at the age of 26??? I don't want to be in a situation where I meet someone great but ruin it bc of my lack of experience, if that makes sense.
I know I have to be the one to make this decision but what would you do in this situation?
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