My BF of 6 months just ended things with me, the day after my birthday, after he found out that I had a 2 year FWB that I didn't disclose to him prior after the FWB texted me for the first time in months to wish me a happy birthday and my BF saw he texted me. I had ended things with that FWB last year after I met my BF but I never disclosed this ex relationship when we previously both discussed our past sexual histories because I spoke of only committed relationships. Even when we had that discussion, I minimized the number of prior experiences I've had because I felt he would feel insecure, him having had sex with 8 women before he met me while I've been with 30-40 men (I honestly have lost count and mostly only remember the men I was with for more than a ONS-I told him 12 which even that he didn't like). We are both in our mid 30's. I can't change my past and there are so many reasons I have the higher than average number of partners that I do, but I feel like this is something that I can never be freed from in my relationships going forward. My past is also the reason other committed relationships of mine have ended in years past and it's like it's all forced back up again now. I don't regret most of my previous flings, but I do regret that they could prevent me from finding the true, honest, genuine man of my dreams that I've always (sub)consciously sought. Any ideas you have for how I can get my guy back or truly move forward and be freed from these types of issues in the future would mean so much. I want him back, but I don't have a good excuse for why I didn't disclose this or certain other things except that I knew they would look bad and I felt my old flings were over. So I don't really know what else to say to him. But he is who I want in so many ways.
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