Hi,
Before I start this you might want a little backstory. In 2021 I met a guy online and was „online dating“ him without it being official since it was long distance. (Imma summarise it), he ended up flying from America to Europe to meet me and we had a good time. I’m a little fbi agent and if I feel like my partner is lying, I will find out. So I did, I found out he had 30 other online girlfriends and was playing on flying out to other countries to meet them and live at their place for free in exchange for party time in their bed. This has of course, minimised my trust in men.
I met this amazing guy at the beginning of the year and we have been together for almost a year. (Will be in February). The relationship is a learning curve since he also went though something similar and we both before the „situationship“ thing dated someone for 6 years. We had some tough times aka the fight that has caused me to being unsure what to do.
On our first day he told me about this girl (we thought this was gonna end up as a one night stand) so we were all night talking about our love lives and that he would like to see her again. Showed me her insta and etc. when a couple months later we started officially dating, I didn’t really think none of it and forgot about it. One day I see his phone screen and it’s her name, I forgot what the message was but you get the point. I asked him why he was still talking to her since we are dating and he told me he went on dates with her. His reply „she’s just a friend but I will stop“. A couple weeks later I see her name on his screen again. So I ask again, his reply was „she’s a friend, more like a best friend“ so I called him out and told him I felt uncomfortable because of the backstory.
I had a bad feeling in my stomach and did the unthinkable (never done it before) and went through their messages while he was asleep. They were talking about how I was „overreacting“ and her words were „if we wanted to fuck each other, we would have done it when we were both single“, his words back were smthg like „I only don’t wanna lose my girlfriend over this so I hope u understand, I will tell her that you offered to talk to her but that’s all“. Besides those I found more messages that were her clearly flirting with him btw. (Should have probably went through the pics they might have sent each other). This o f course made me mad because the way they were talking (ofc I minimised and summarised) to me was a back stab. I’m his girlfriend, our relationship is between me and him and not some girl who is shit talking me and saying „she’s so overreacting, I would have never done this to my boyfriend“. He told me he cut contact and stopped liking her pictures on Instagram but didn’t unfollow her.
Anyway, one day we exploded and broke up. But bc I’m fbi a couple days later I checked her Instagram. Bc she posts regularly she already had new posts and he ofc he liked the pictures. Stopped liking them again after we got together. Since then I haven t talked to him about what happened even tho I know the moment we broke up, he texted her.
And then a couple weeks ago I had another bad feeling and found pictures of girls he was following and looked at the ones he liked of them. Most of them being girls in bikinis or half naked. At this point I felt betrayed ofc. Didn’t mention it to him, cause I dont wanna sound like I’m the crazy girlfriend who’s stalking him. Btw he liked all of those pictures while we were dating.
I know he’s a great guy but I don’t know what to do, to make myself trust him more and if this is all in my head or if I should quit him …
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