I (24M) met another guy (24) on a dating app late September. I really have developed feelings for him. We have met up several times just to hangout. I could never tell if he "liked me" in that way, but then we went to see a movie together and he grabbed/held my hand. He also took me to a fancier restaurant and paid. So, I took this as a sign of interest and asked him out on a formal date and he said yes. We decorated his apartment for the holidays and watched a cheesy Xmas movie while drinking hot chocolate. I personally thought it went really well. Then the next time we hung out, right before he dropped me off at my apartment, I gave him a kiss. I "thought" it seemed good? But then after I got back into my apartment he sent me a message that he doesn't think we should continue dating but left it open ended by saying "this does not mean we cannot revisit the idea of dating ever again". Which I thought meant he did not like me and was trying to put me down softly with one of those cliche it's not you it's me approaches. I accepted this fate (though it really hurt and involved a few late night tears, haha).
We did not hangout again for almost 2 weeks (NOT because of that interaction, regardless we likely could not have due to unrelated plans). Last night I went to his place. We had drinks, baked cookies, talked a lot, and played games. Towards the end of the night we were sitting on his couch and *he* scooted over to me and laid up against me/put his arm on me in a fairly romantic sort of way. I asked him if he wanted me to move, he said no pretty quickly. We sat together for a bit and then I (probably shouldn't have said anything but oh well) told him I'm not sure what to think given what he said last time. To which he told me "Yeah. I bet it is probably confusing for you. . . That's all I really know, just confused". He very shortly after (like 45 seconds) mentioned it's getting late and took me home.
I feel so hurt. I really rather like him. He's so sweet, smart, and calming to be around. If he does not think of me in that way, I can accept this and would be happy to be his friend. If he likes me back, I would love this and would be so incredibly happy to be with him. However, if he is unsure or thinks I'm just "okay enough" in the meantime, and ultimately does not want to be with me/give me a "real shot" of things, then I just want him to tell me this and stop laying on me/holding my hands/etc.
Having him so close to me and know I stand no chance really kills me inside. But I'm too paranoid of scaring him off by saying this directly because of the off chance he really does just need more time and I actually might have a remote possibility at getting this to work. I feel so sad.
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